Given
by Maverick87
Summary: I thought I was fine. Oneshot.


**Legal Disclaimer: I don't own any SEGA characters, SEGA does**

**Given**

I remember dreaming with you. Every night reminds of the same thing.

We were exactly alike.

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"Fuck! Fuck!"

"What!? What it is it?"

"Dude! Just look at this! Look at this shit!"

"Oh god…"

"Yeah! Exactly! What the hell do we do now?"

"That's so beautiful."

"Wait…what?"

"You're vulnerable right now and I love it."

"You're sick."

"You know you love it."

"Fuck you."

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I hated to admit these things but he was right. It was my first time. And doing this was a big step in…some kind of direction...

Cutting yourself. I was a goddamn cutter.

Part of me hated the social-status quo of the thought; the inconvenience of a label. You see when you bring that blade close to your skin, the feel of the cool metal opening you up, the scene of blood in a slow dribble flowing down your arm: a scar will come and remind you of just how things really are.

No one ever thinks of me as emotional. I'll be the first to say that I don't do this because I am depressed. In all counts, anyone in my position rightfully should be upset, miserable.

Status means nothing though when you're the last of your race; the bridging gap between extinction and endangered species.

My name is Knuckles, an echidna, and I live alone. On an island. I don't get visitors. I don't get postcards.

All I get is bullshit.

Saving the world! Saving the freaking world! The only reason people need my aid is to save freaking Mobius. Other than that I am no use to anyone.

See the reason why…why I decided to hurt my self…is simple.

You ever felt happy? You do something where you feel on top of the world, no one can stop you, your breathing quickens, and an uplifting enigma enters your torso: Concision, yet euphoria.

Opiate, deadened, is all that I am lately.

And it takes the jagged crystal of Chaos Emerald to do it for me. Physical harm makes me feel alive.

Sick isn't it? You could never bring yourself to such an act could you? Neither could I for awhile…**He** helped me out so much. **He** helped me do it. **He** came and assisted.

Your mind can kill you slowly, but **he**…**he **revived the little I had left inside...

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The wind was picking up in heavy gales. Sonic, Tails, Shadow, Rouge, Amy…they all had left two days ago. The Master Emerald was a sanctuary I couldn't live without.

Prayers…prayers were needed back then.

My hands were clutching to a bone breaking point. The emerald's glow radiating and contrasting against my purple eyes

"Let them come back my master. I never wanted this. I was wrong for it. Let me see them again…please…"

"You were right Knuckles."

A voice danced around me. The Master Emerald had never talked before. Communication only came in flashing lights; speech was unfathomable for a jewel.

"Master? You can speak?!"

"I am not your master."

Shock…response. An…intruder. I spun around to face my foe.

Me. A perfect, breathing mirror of myself. The red spines, purple eyes, the huge hands, all the same.

"Who are you? An Eggman clone? Answer me!?" I commanded harshly.

Apprehensive was my middle name if anyone came within two miles of my island.

"Knuckles you've really gotten in sorry shape…I mean your eyes are bloodshot, your ribs are protruding out of you, and you're sniveling before a rock! Pathetic in every sense of the word! We both know you don't want them back. Stop fooling around."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know. You've always known who you are. Who you are and what you want."

I rushed and floored him with a left hook. He didn't have the right. Blood trickled from his lips. I was livid, more than ever before.

"You like it don't you? The feel of giving it…giving pain."

"Shut up!"

Another rush and this time I pinned him to the ground. He barely struggled; my spiked fists pounded away with deafening blows.

His left eye had popped out and only the optical nerve was holding it in, his teeth, all thirty-two of them, were gone. Some were swallowed; some were buried under the tall blades of grass.

I kept staring into his lifelessness, his corpse. A warm, bubbly feeling took over my body, my heartbeat picked up. My eyes felt dry from the summer heat.

It felt like an orgasm; a sensation still not explained.

Like Sonic, I ran away from him. Shit I didn't even know the guy! I up and killed him!

Seriously…What the hell?

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Trees now…only trees and the full moon gazing; never before could I run that fast, that hard.

The tree blocking my path caught me off guard along with my crazed fear. Never saw it coming.

A crunch.

Blackout.

"Wake up sleepyhead."

"Just shut up…"

I was barely muttering because the tree hit me so hard.

Fuck! What the fuck!? That voice?!

Rising like a ghost, our eyes met again.

He had returned with not a mark on him.

"You understand what I am talking about now?"

Again. Murder. I did it again and worse this time. This time with no remorse, this time he didn't have a face left to talk with.

I waited to see.

Lightning never strikes in the same place right? This guy was sure as dead. There was no way…

He rose up.

Horror-stricken I watched his bones go back into place; his eyes reform into visibility, the pointy bone shape of his nose was the kicker though. What sick fucker was I dealing with here?

"You know exactly what you're dealing with…"

"How did you…?"

A mind reader? Really? Who was this?

"Did you like it?"

"Like what?"

"The death, the carnage, the killing obviously." He said the whole time cracking his neck bones.

"You're shitting me!"

"Like I said before 'stop fooling yourself'." He readjusted his gloves.

Foolish? Who was the one who just killed who?

"The rush. Did you feel it?" My foe grinned wildly.

How did he know these things? That thought lingered.

"What about it?"

"I'll help you control it. I can help you Knuckles."

I wasn't sure if it was the way he said it or maybe his charismatic look about him, but I felt obligated to accept him; he seemed calm for a guy who just died twice. A siren he was. His spell captivated and captured my consciousness.

We walked back. Words couldn't surface. He said nothing as well. Under the Master Emerald's glow I drifted to sleep. I don't even remember what happened after that.

---------------------------

Images and films invaded me all night long.

My subconscious was a killer, that was a given.

The dreams; noir-like deaths of all my friends…He was there watching, waiting, laughing. I was told all the wrongs they committed toward me. I was reminded of all the pain I had suffered because of them. All the memories, all the times I yelled in infamy, all the times I was alone, and all the times I knew there wasn't a damn thing I could do to change it.

Until now. Now in this dream-like world I was changed.

Amy could barely gasp to speak with a fist through her sternum.

Rouge's legs were so messed up; she took awhile to go down. A slow and painful demise.

Tails choked…throttled really…with his own namesakes.

Shadow…There wasn't much to say about him. Boney dust and organ systems to say the least.

But Sonic…Sonic is where I really took my time. Pricking each quill off his body like taking splinters out of a child's hand; delicately and timely. I poked one eye out. Then the other. They drooped out, and flooded down, hanging from the round black abysmal holes where his eyes used to be. I changed that fairly quickly though. Cutting the cords wasn't exactly hard. Inch by inch…joint by joint I crushed him. His blood curdling screams, his yearning for me to cease; it only fed my fury.

The screaming stopped like it always did. Just like the others I stared into him for a second admiring my handiwork; I was good at what I did. I was a good killer.

The epilogues were my gloves as I held them close to my face. Those crimson reminders that matched my skin reminded of me of who I really was.

A feeling of warmth, then…nothing.

-----------------------------

Waking was another story.

He was there, still there, standing close by the Master Emerald. That same smirk rivaling Sonic's own, that same arms-crossed stance, that same look of anger and hate protruding from his eyes like a hurricane; I didn't even have a name for him.

"You ready to take the next step?"

My brain was still foggy from the dreams.

"Whatever…" My mouth opened hugely in a yawn. "I guess."

Walking over I still didn't get this at all. Why the hell did I feel the need to follow this guy? It been a day, literally, and doubt had already clouded my judgment. Uncertainty had brought forth hints of nervousness; portrayed mainly by external limb shaking and noticeable beads of sweat.

Now we were face to face, eye to eye all over again.

"Everything I tell you must be taken with the utmost importance."

"But those dreams wer-"

"Those dreams were _you_ Knuckles. Don't you get it? Not the little coward prancing around a fucking rock, but the _reality_ of your _true being_, your _true self_!"

Now it was my turn to get jumpy.

"Look! I don't even know you or where the hell you came from! And why should I believe anything that comes out of you!? You just come up here and tell me all these things you supposedly 'know' when we've never even fucking met! So tell me, give me a reason, show me the way, _quote me scripture_ for all I care, but most of all explain to me why I should even _think_ of listening to you!"

"All of that right there is _exactly_ why, the fire inside, the burning flame of anger, that emotion alone and how you're expressing it."

"You're not making any sense!"

"I'm making perfect sense; you're just not taking it."

The vein in my head seemed ready to blow at any given moment. Everything became solely focused on him. The green grass beneath me, the blue sky above me, even the Master Emerald seemed to fade away by his commanding magnetism and my shattering vehement.

"What do I have to do to get rid of you?" I snarled through gritted teeth.

"If you just follow my instructions, I'll leave you forever."

"Fine by me." I flatly spat.

"Good. Then let us begin."

From behind his back my double revealed the blue Chaos Emerald; it's shimmering beauty almost blinding from the shining sun.

"What are we going to do with that?"

"I think the better question is what _you're _going to do with it…"

"And that means what?"

"Here…Take it and close your eyes."

Doing as he asked I snatched the jewel from his hand. My eyes saw nothing but black, my ears detected only our breathing and a slight breeze.

"Knuckles. Tell me what you hate the most."

"Sonic."

The answer almost came too abruptly, like I had been thinking about it for a long time.

"And?"

He wanted me to elaborate and there was plenty of anger left.

"I hate how he always gets the glory, I hate it how he never has to man up to anything, I hate it that he has never felt pain! I hate his face, his abilities, his care-free attitude, like everything is a damn joke when it isn't! Like life is some kind of damn game where he has infinite lives! It's not fair! He doesn't know what it is like to be alone! And-"

"That's enough."

His stern voice came like a brick wall to stop my outburst.

"Now Knuckles, what exactly were you thinking of when you said all that?"

My eyes opened.

The Chaos Emerald exploded in my hand as I clutched it hard. Shards of it flew all over the ground, its blue shine easily recognizable in the grass. The realization had made me even angrier.

"Those…" I hesitated with shame in mind. "Dreams I had last night…"

"All of them?"

"Yeah."

The words from before came irking back…

"_You've always known who you are. Who you are and what you want."_

What I wanted was…

I wanted to kill them, all of them, I wanted to hurt them. I wanted them to realize how I felt and how much I hurt. Maybe then they would understand.

"Knuckles…You've been hiding for so long, letting the pain build for so long, don't you want to release some of it? To break away from it all?"

A nearby emerald shard had appeared in my hand. The long sliver looked like a neon lit icicle as I examined it.

It looked peaceful.

It looked calm.

It looked like salvation.

The blood just started spurting from my left arm. The pain…unreal and fantastic. I fell back to Master Emerald slumped down on one knee, crying and laughing hysterically.

It wouldn't stop, the blood wouldn't and neither would I.

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The last three days have been insane, distant and confusing until now.

It took me awhile, but I finally figured things out. Why I had recent scars down my arms and legs, why I had those psycho dreams with my friends and that duplicate, the answer just came to me.

Four days ago I had some mushrooms near the southern border of my island.

A harmless fungus I thought because I've had mushrooms here before, but apparently I need to stay away from the tan, white like ones. Bad voodoo, really really bad voodoo. Enough to hurt myself, which is frightening, but I am all in one piece so I'll get over it I guess.

Shit though…I need to clear my head. Maybe some water would do me some good…

The trek to the waterfall is always such a beauty to behold. You see there's this really high rock about one hundred feet tall that makes a huge spout that…

That's funny…There's little specks of blue all throughout the dirt…

Wait a minute…What is that _decaying_ smell?

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_Maverick87-2008_


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